Perfectionism: causes, symptoms, how to treat and techniques. (complete guide)

Perfectionism is a trait that is often seen as positive, but it can become a problem when it becomes excessive.

People who suffer from perfectionism tend to put a lot of pressure on themselves to achieve an unrealistic level of excellence, even paralyzing themselves, promoting negative effects on mental and physical health. 

In this guide, we’ll explore some unique and effective approaches to perfectionism!

See also: Perfectionist: discover 2 books that will help you deconstruct this mentality.

What is it?

Perfectionism is defined as the tendency to demand an extremely high or even flawless level of performance, often with unattainable high standards and criteria, either from oneself or from other people.

Perfectionists often have a paralyzing fear of failure and tend to define their self-worth based on their ability to achieve unattainable goals.

This can lead to an “all or nothing” mentality and an increased risk of depression and anxiety along with a total or partial halt in productivity.

According to psychology, perfectionism is a personality trait that can manifest itself at different levels, from healthy to pathological perfectionism. 

Healthy eating can be beneficial in many areas of life, but when it becomes excessive and obsessive behavior, it can become extremely harmful.

How to identify and what are the symptoms?

In practice, a perfectionist person receives a task, instead of focusing on execution and only on priorities, he ends up spending the available time on planning, on irrelevant details, and on unnecessary things that are not essential.

What was supposed to be a simple and quick task ends up becoming dense and tiring, leading to productivity paralysis due to not knowing where to start and how to finish, burnout, stress, anxiety or depression.

There is a well-known phrase that paraphrases this example: “done is better than perfect”.

Identifying perfectionism can be difficult, since it is seen as a positive trait in our culture. However, there are signs that may indicate that someone has this trait. Some common characteristics include:

Plans a lot and executes little: has the need to control every situation to ensure that nothing goes wrong, getting stuck in analysis, checklists and searching for the best instead of taking action, resulting in a lack of progress and projects that are never completed.

Excessive self-criticism: One of their most striking characteristics is their tendency to criticize themselves and others harshly and constantly for small flaws or imperfections. They have high standards and often feel as though they will never be able to meet them, blaming themselves for failures even when they are not responsible. This can lead to a feeling of constant dissatisfaction and low self-esteem.

Procrastination: Despite being detail-oriented and hard-working, there is a tendency to “put things off until later.” They may put off projects and tasks until they feel “in the right mood” to do them. This leads to unnecessary delays and stress.

Unproductivity: Exhaustion from the unattainable search for the best makes people paralyze and become unproductive, often because they don't know where to start or because they have high expectations of the energy and time they must dedicate to the task.

Difficulty in delegating tasks: because they believe that no one can perform tasks as well as they can; therefore, they tend to have difficulty delegating responsibilities and trusting others.

Being too demanding: with herself and with others, because she believes that everyone should have the same standard, which can generate excessive pressure and even lead to abusive behavior.

Feeling bothered by other people's mistakes: The tendency towards perfectionism can make a person feel very bothered by mistakes or imperfections made by others, which can generate conflicts and difficulties in social coexistence.

Constant dissatisfaction: Even when they achieve their goals, many perfectionists cannot feel satisfied, as they always see some detail that could have been improved.

Being very detailed: Perfectionists can have extreme attention to detail, which can be useful in some areas, such as art or science, but can become a problem when it becomes obsessive and interferes with other areas of life.

Anxious, depressed and stressed: Perfectionism can lead to high levels of anxiety and stress or feeling depressed as the person constantly worries about failing, not achieving their goals or things not going as planned.

Constantly feeling tired: Perfectionism can lead a person to feel constantly overwhelmed, which can affect physical and mental health and cause symptoms such as fatigue, insomnia and gastrointestinal problems.

Rigidity and inflexibility (being resistant to change): Perfectionists tend to have very rigid rules about how things “should” go as planned, and have difficulty dealing with unpredictable situations or last-minute changes, as this can threaten the feeling that everything is under control.

Excessive concern about other people's opinions: Many perfectionists worry excessively about what others think of them, which can create additional pressure to always be perfect.

Low self-esteem: Despite appearing confident, many perfectionists have low self-esteem and a constant need for external validation and approval.

Spending too much time on simple tasks: Due to the need to perform tasks perfectly, perfectionists can end up spending much more time than necessary on simple tasks, such as organizing the house or preparing a meal.

It is important to remember that these symptoms do not necessarily apply to all perfectionists and that they can manifest themselves differently in each individual.

Treatments and techniques

Treating perfectionism involves a multidisciplinary approach, which may include psychotherapy, medication, lifestyle changes, and relaxation techniques.

Below, we present some strategies that can help treat perfectionism:

Recognize that perfectionism is not a positive quality: There is a tendency to feel good and believe that perfection is an indicator of excellence and quality, but this ends up leading to negative consequences. That is why it is essential that from now on you associate perfectionism with a negative condition.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): CBT is a therapeutic approach that works to identify and change negative thought patterns and dysfunctional behaviors related to perfectionism.

Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT): ACT is a therapeutic approach that helps people learn to accept their thoughts and feelings, rather than trying to suppress or control them. This can help reduce the anxiety and stress associated with perfectionism.

Medication: In some cases, medication may be prescribed by professionals to control symptoms associated with perfectionism.

Accept imperfection: It is important to remember that perfection is unattainable and that failure is part of the process of growth and learning. Learning to accept imperfection and mistakes can help relieve pressure.

Learning to prioritize: She may have difficulty prioritizing tasks and focusing on one thing at a time. Learning to set clear priorities and focusing on one task at a time will improve efficiency. We recommend that you learn about the “Pomodoro” time management technique.

Lifestyle changes: Making lifestyle changes, such as setting work boundaries, learning to delegate tasks, and setting aside time for relaxation and enjoyable activities, can help a lot.

Relaxation techniques: Relaxation techniques such as meditation, yoga, deep breathing, and progressive muscle relaxation can help reduce the stress and anxiety associated with perfectionism. Incorporate these habits into your routine.

Develop a realistic expectation: Learning to have a more realistic perspective about yourself and your expectations can help reduce the pressure placed on you. Instead of demanding perfection, demand that you do what is essential.

Practice self-compassion: Instead of being critical of yourself, it is important to practice self-compassion and learn to treat yourself with kindness and compassion, even if you do not achieve perfection, celebrate the small advances.

If you reward yourself: When you complete essential tasks in a simple way, reward yourself, it could be a gift, a chocolate, a dinner. But let this event be celebratory for completing a task or goal through simple productivity and not through perfection.

Get rid of the “should and could”: For example, if you are at a party, focus on having fun instead of thinking about what “could” go wrong.

Seek professional help: In some cases, it may be necessary to seek professional help to deal with the challenges associated with perfectionism. A psychologist or therapist can help the person develop strategies to cope with this condition.

See also: Perfectionist: discover 2 books that will help you deconstruct this mentality.

Treating perfectionism can take time and requires effort and commitment from the individual. However, with the help of a mental health professional and the adoption of effective strategies, it is possible to overcome perfectionism and live a more balanced and healthy life.

Which professionals are recommended for treatment?

There are several professionals who can help treat a perfectionist. The type of professional most suitable will depend on the severity of the symptoms and the impact that perfectionism is having on the person's life.

Psychologist: is a professional trained to help people understand and modify their dysfunctional thoughts and behaviors. A psychologist can help a perfectionist identify the distorted thoughts that underlie their behavior and develop strategies to change them.

Psychiatrist: A doctor can prescribe medications to help relieve the symptoms that accompany perfectionism. Medications such as antidepressants can help reduce anxiety and improve a person's mood, allowing them to focus on other areas of their life.

Occupational therapist: can help develop time management and organizational skills to prioritize tasks and avoid procrastination. They can also help develop problem-solving skills and deal with pressure and stress in a healthier way.

Personal Coach: can help you identify your goals and values and develop a plan to achieve them. They can help you set healthy boundaries and learn to delegate tasks to others.

In some cases, it may be advisable to seek help from more than one professional to address different aspects of the problem. The important thing is to seek out a professional who is trained and experienced in working with people with these symptoms, so that you can receive the best possible treatment.

Precaution:

It is important to understand that perfectionism can be treated with the help of qualified professionals, and that the process of change requires effort, patience and self-knowledge. 

Don't try to change everything at once and set big goals and expectations at the beginning, this is not healthy and will not stimulate evolution. 

Start with small habits and always celebrate and reward yourself for small achievements and daily progress. 

Conclusion:

In short, perfectionism can be a positive trait in some situations, but when it becomes a dominant personality trait, it can lead to serious consequences for physical and mental health. 

If you identify with the symptoms described in this article, consider implementing the techniques and treatments we mentioned and seek help from a healthcare professional.

Remember that the pursuit of perfection can be a trap that impedes personal and professional growth, and that the pursuit of progress, even if imperfect, can be a healthier and more positive approach to life.

All these recommendations will help you deal with perfectionism and its effects on your daily life. 

Biographical references:

1. Hewitt, PL, & Flett, GL (1991). Perfectionism in the self and social contexts: Conceptualization, assessment, and association with psychopathology. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 60(3), 456–470.

2. Stoeber, J., & Otto, K. (2006). Positive conceptions of perfectionism: Approaches, evidence, challenges. Personality and Social Psychology Review, 10(4), 295–319.

3. Flett, G.L., Hewitt, P.L., Blankstein, K.R., & Dynin, C. (1994). Dimensions of perfectionism and related constructs. In G. L. Flett & P. L. Hewitt (Eds.), Perfectionism: Theory, research, and treatment (pp. 181–220). American Psychological Association.

4. Hill, A.P., & Curran, T. (2016). Multidimensional perfectionism and burnout: A meta-analysis. Personality and Social Psychology Review, 20(3), 269–288.

5. Stoeber, J., & Childs, J. H. (2010). The assessment of self-oriented and socially prescribed perfectionism: Subscales make a difference. Journal of Personality Assessment, 92(6), 577–585.

6. Rice, K. G., Leever, B. A., & Noggle, C. A. (2017). Perfectionism and procrastination as predictors of academic stress. Journal of College Counseling, 20(1), 5–21.